For many of us, our purpose is found in what we literally do or who we are with rather than in who we are.
So, when what we do is interfered with through losing our job or being unable to do our work, or when a relationship that defines us is ended through a break-up or death, we suddenly find ourselves with no meaning.
Lack of purpose and meaning leads to depression, which can slide down into despair.
Having our purpose tied to some external fact is precarious. Facts can (and do) change.
For example, the successful entrepreneur who’s worth and value is tied up in his or her business success can be destroyed if the business fails or when the business is sold or when the person retires. The person who’s worth and value is tied up in their good looks, can be destroyed when attractiveness diminishes with age or as a result of a terrible accident. The person whose self-esteem is intrinsically woven into his or her high level of intelligence is left with a sense of loss when their cognitive function fails through disease, age, or unfortunate mishap.
We are secure in our being regardless of what we do (or are no longer able to do). We know that we are the same people with the same worth and value as we were before the “planet shift” event. We know that the substance of our identity is still intact regardless of how the external facts may change. And they will change.
We know that although our looks will change and our financial status may fluctuate, we still have the same character traits, values, personalities, and perspectives that we had before and that we are still able to do what our authentic identity equips us to do, perhaps in a different capacity and setting, as we did before.
So, be your authentic self. Do what comes easily to you for someone who needs what you know how to do, right where you are.
Remember that you are NOT defined by:
What or who you have lost
The job you have or no longer have
Money (whether you have it or you don’t)
The people who love you or who don’t
The ugly things people have said to you or about you
The people who disagree with you
Or any other external circumstances.
You ARE defined by:
Your good character traits, like resilience, perseverance, and courage.
Your personality, including your sense of humor and your perspective
Your strengths, like the ability to encourage others, analyze complicated issues, connect others, or the other things that come easily to you.
Your natural talents
Your values and beliefs
Your perspective on the issues that you care deeply about
The way you express love and concern
And all the other intrinsic “assets” that combine to make up the unique-in-all-the- world person that is YOU.
Rhonda Sciortino spent decades trying to prove that she was worthy of the air she was breathing and the space she took up on planet Earth. She people-pleased, over-worked, over-gave, and she learned that when you have to work to earn a relationship, you'll have to work to keep the relationship. Rhonda now knows that she's not defined by who likes her or doesn't. She knows who she is because she recognizes and celebrates those things that truly define her. She hopes you do the same.