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Survivors of trauma need healthy relationships

Relationships are inevitable! You have them from the doctor who delivers you to the very last person you see when you leave this life.

two people holding pinky fingers

Your most important relationship is the one with yourself. If that's not healthy, the others won't be either. Care for yourself. Forgive yourself, and work toward loving who you are. You are a survivor. Give yourself credit for surviving all your worst days!

Survivors of childhood trauma have been through so much. We have lived through painful relationships, loss, grief, broken hearts and for some of us broken bones and broken spirits. So while healthy relationships are important to everyone, we literally need healthy relationships with good people in order to achieve the sense of belonging, stability, happiness and self-worth that (if we're honest) we deeply crave.

You can spot successful survivors by their good relationships

Successful survivors of childhood trauma are clearly seen among groups of victims and survivors. There are identifiers that are common among us, the first being that we have good, healthy relationships.

Real success involves a balanced life. It's not just having money, fame or power. Real success is a balance of healthy relationships with good people, peace, joy, wellness and financial provision.

Successful survivors use what we have learned to create successful lives then we help others do the same

Successful survivors want every survivor and victim of childhood trauma to have a good life. We always reach back to people who are where we used to be. We know the way out of the darkness. We shine the light so you can find your way out too.

7 reasons why healthy relationships are crucial

1. Emotional Well-Being: They provide emotional support, reducing stress, anxiety, and depression. Feeling loved and connected boosts overall well-being.

2. Physical Health: Studies show that people in healthy relationships tend to live longer and have better physical health.

3. Personal Growth: Healthy relationships encourage personal growth and self-improvement by providing a safe space for self-expression and learning.

4. Social Connection: They contribute to a sense of belonging, which is a fundamental human need, enhancing your social support system.

5. Conflict Resolution: Healthy relationships teach effective conflict resolution and communication skills, which are valuable in all aspects of life.

6. Happiness: They can lead to increased happiness and life satisfaction. A supportive partner can amplify life's joys and reduce its burdens.

7. Child Development: In the context of family, healthy relationships provide a stable and nurturing environment for children's development. In contrast, unhealthy relationships can have adverse effects on mental and physical health, making it essential to prioritize and foster healthy connections in your life.

If we're going to stop generational cycles of domestic violence, abuse, poverty, substance abuse disorder and all the rest of the things that destroy families and harm communities, successful survivors of childhood trauma must know how to create and maintain healthy relationships and model that for the children within their influence.

Three ways to create healthy relationships include

two friends hugging and laughing

1. Effective Communication: Open and honest communication is vital. Listen actively, express your thoughts and feelings, and work on resolving conflicts constructively.

2. Trust and Respect: Building trust and showing respect are foundational. Be reliable, keep promises, and treat each other with kindness and consideration.

3. Quality Time: Spend quality time together, fostering emotional connections. Shared experiences and quality time can strengthen bonds and intimacy.

Remember, every relationship is unique, and these principles may need to be adapted to fit the specific needs of those involved.

7 signs of a possible toxic relationship can include

1. Constant Negativity: If there's persistent criticism, contempt, or excessive negativity, it can be toxic.

2. Lack of Respect: Disregard for each other's boundaries, feelings, or autonomy is a red flag.

3. Emotional Abuse: Any form of emotional abuse, manipulation, or controlling behavior is toxic.

mother and child looking at each other while the father turns away

4. Isolation: If the relationship isolates you from friends and family, it can be unhealthy.

5. Consistent Unhappiness: If you're consistently unhappy, stressed, or anxious due to the relationship, it's a concern.

6. Imbalance of Power: A power imbalance where one person dominates or controls the other is unhealthy.

7. Incompatibility: Fundamental values and goals that are incompatible can lead to toxicity.


If you recognize these signs, it may be time to seek help, set boundaries, or consider ending the relationship, depending on the severity of the issues. A healthy relationship should promote well-being, respect, and growth for both individuals involved.

Of course people aren't at their best when they're going through tough times, so communicate your needs, show mercy, and give the people in your life ample time to grow and improve before ending a relationship.

Successful Survivors Podcast: Creating Healthy Relationships and Saying NO to Toxic Ones

In this episode of the Successful Survivors Podcast, we talk about the importance of healthy relationships, identifying signs of toxic relationships and how to get out of them, and much more.

We're here for YOU

people standing holding hands with caption "successful survivors are stronger together"

For more great tips on creating your successful life, take a look at our other blog articles and subscribe to Successful Survivors Podcast. You can find it on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Amazon, YouTube and many other places.

Successful Survivors podcast is by and for survivors of childhood trauma (abandonment, neglect, chaos, dysfunction, abuse, trafficking or any other cause of trauma). It's real, raw and funny--like us. All hosts and guests are survivors of childhood trauma. If that's you, WE ARE YOUR TRIBE, and you are safe here.

Successful Survivors come from every background, culture, race, ethnicity, age group, etc., so we don't agree on everything. (It would be pretty boring if we did!) Survivors do better in life when we're connected. We push through troubles, we persevere, and we get through hard times--usually with a few laughs.

To contact us go to There's no cost or obligation to join--just purpose, meaning and connection. We're stronger together. Please subscribe @successfulsurvivors .

Watch for details about our EXPLORING WHAT'S POSSIBLE AFTER THE PAIN 2024 event. This will be EPIC!

To change the world with us, check out our Love Is Action Community Initiative at

Did you know that survivors of childhood trauma are the #1 target of traffickers? We can prevent human trafficking by understanding the way traffickers exploit our vulnerabilities. Start by listening to the Ending Human Trafficking Podcast.


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